Just hear me out for a while

It’s been a really long day. It’s been a really long week. Actually, it’s been a really long month. I learnt something called the semanticization of remote memories in cognitive psych, and it made me a little…sad. What it means is that we tend to forget the episodic details of our memories faster than the semantic ones. To put it in simpler terms, we tend to forget the personal experiences and autobiographical aspects of our memories. For instance, your first love. Initially you tend to remember every thing about it – from the first time you fell in love with him, how you fell in love and why was it him. The first time he acknowledged you, all the times you accidentally ran into him in school and he greeted you… Many years later, all of these episodic details will decay. You will forget some of them, you will remember certain details wrongly. All you are left with is the semantic memory of “Oh yeah! I did have a first love…probably in 2004 or something? Yeah.” You are left with the dry, boring facts of some of the sweetest and most precious memories of your life, and I think that’s the saddest thing I’ve learnt so far.

So, I made a promise to myself. From now on I am going to write down everything that I want to remember even when I am a demented old lady. I’ve always been keeping a diary ever since I was 6, but they are usually full of rants and sad moments. I realise I didn’t want just the sad moments, and when I entered uni I slowly stopped writing in my diary that much. Simply because I had truly a handful of not-so-good moments and I am really tired of having diaries and diaries of sad moments. Hehe. But you know what? Sad or happy, I think I am going to start recording them down again. I do not want to be left with just the dry, boring facts. I want to remember a lot of things! So yeah, guys, if something is precious to you, make sure to write it down. Sometimes we think we will never, ever forget.

But we always do.

Anyway it is finally recess week! I played Mario Kart with 3 of my friends in school today and it was actually fun. Halfway through the game, I thought of the MK 7 3ds game that I sold away because it was shitass boring as there was no one to race with me. I thanked my friends and told them I realised how important it was to have friends in your life. My friend told me, “Woah don’t change this into a HTHT~”, but it’s really true. There was one race all 4 of us got the top 4 positions (I was 2nd!) in the team race and we yelled so loudly. It’s moments like these that I want to remember forever.

Went out with the gang afterwards. We visited our sec school and it changed a lot. Many trees were cut down, buildings came up. It was no longer the same school I remembered, but somehow I feel like it is the school I am the most attached too. This doesn’t mean I had the best time there…it just means…I visit it the most after graduation. I only visited my pri school once or twice after grad, my JC only once to take the SGC, but AHS? So many times.

I started this post with the intention to talk about a certain topic but now I don’t think I am ready to talk about it. Maybe another time. Kudos.

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