Where art thou, cicak?

My family came home today!

My mom phoned me from the airport saying, “HELLO!!! We are back!” and was greeted with a frantic “Momyouneedtocomehomesoonbecausetheresalizardinmyroom. OhandalsobuydinnerbackbecauseIspoiltthericecooker 😦 oh and hi!!!”

Thanks mama for helping me launch a room wide search for the lizard even though she was jet lagged. Or newt. After much thought, I think it was just a lizard. How could I ever think it was a newt ahahaha. I was once again nagged for spamming insecticide (“One bottle not cheap leh!”) and I complained that the insecticide didn’t even kill the lizard. And she gave me the look. Turns out I used a repellant and not a…”killing” kind, which was why the amphibian barely flinch.

(=__=)

Unfortunately, the lizard search was in vain. He’s gone!!!!! I don’t know where he is!!!!! But I feel his beady lizardy eyes watching my every move I JUST FEEL IT! I’m really scared of lizards due to my past traumatic experience of them climbing up my leg and me thinking it was just a strand of hair. But never mind, I’m a brave person.

Begone, lizard, begone.

P.S I realised that lizards are reptiles, not amphibians so….*mentally corrects all the errors in my posts*

A crazy “Newt” (Night) of my life

Want to hear a funny story?
Last evening, I was sitting at my table attempting to post this:

20140823-191411-69251930.jpg

“My favourite time of the day is the few moments before the sun rises, and the few moments after the sun sets. They’re the most silent moments and if you would put on some classical music in the background and just stare outside. Just stare outside and think of nothing else but how blue and vast the sky is. And how many other people around the world are thinking the exact same thing at the exact same moment. As you watch the sky gradually darkens, be thankful that you survived another day no matter how crappy it was.

In that moment between realizing that you’re still surviving in this mad society and how the universe has no boundaries, that’s when Life is the most beautiful. Only in that little moment.

Have a good night! :)”

And just as I was about to publish the post, I heard the Lizard Sound right outside my window. (If you don’t know what’s the lizard sound then you’re leading a good life!) AND THERE, right at my window, was a lizard. Or so I thought…

Unfortunately, my insect/amphibian catcher aka my mom, is in a different continent from me. This was worse than The-Day-The-Spider-Came-In. I went to grab the pesticide but took too long, it disappeared!!! Fast forward, it came into my room and I started spraying like a psycho. (Actually, I finished the entire can of pesticide and that loser didn’t even die……). Pesticide really STINKS. I was suffocating and that amphibian didn’t even flinch. I sprayed so much my table was wet, my wall was wet and my picture of Infinite was wet. (This is quite sad… That creature dared to lay its foot upon Myung Soo’s face, I had no choice… “Sorry oppa :'(” *sprays like a maniac*)

But the amphibian lives.

That’s when I realised it wasn’t a lizard, I think it was a newt. I remember my mom telling me if I get a newt, I am dead. Because you have to whack it manually to kill it, cos the newt ain’t scared. The newt doesn’t care. According to wiki, there are no newts in Singapore. And some species of newts are highly protected, and it’s illegal to kill. Too bad I don’t care. Maybe this newt is worth a million dollars upon discovery because it’s so rare, but I really don’t care πŸ˜₯

Either way I’m really dead. The whole house reeks of pesticide (once again). That creature is still alive somewhere in my room and I don’t know exactly when my mom will be home. I hope it’s tomorrow. Oh please let it be tomorrow……………………….

SO MUCH FOR HAVING A GOOD NIGHT BUT Life is still beautiful πŸ™‚

P.S If you’re thinking “Omg it’s just a lizard..”, please. Please offer me your 24/7 insect/amphibian catching services, I’ll let you keep them as pets.

P.P.S An article to try and make me feel better about my situation: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-546432/Couple-barred-living-1million-house-year-protected-newts-flood.html

Loneliness on a whole new level

I thought I was bored yesterday but today was an even higher level of boredom. Home alone for the next 9 days and even though I’m enjoying the perks of living alone ie. showering with the door open and blasting music and leaving all my chores undone (as long as I do them before my mom gets home) ahahahaha.

But still, it gets lonely… πŸ˜₯

I suddenly realised this might be how those elderly feel when they’re living alone. At least I could read and use the internet, but I don’t think they know how. Sadly, I also realised this must be how my father felt for the past 10 years he spent working overseas. But at least he can cook edible food while I almost gagged eating my own cooking. And I supposed this will go on till the master chef in my house gets back. So much for an A in Home Econs……….

That being said, I’m off to have a dance party with my soft toys and myself….

I AM SO BORED!

Just another pointless post because I’m hungry and bored

I’m seriously bored out of my wits. I wish I got a murder mystery to solve but I don’t. Bored bored Bored BORED! 😦

Anyway, Boyhood is officially out in the cinemas and you should go watch it! It’s a very unique movie, really. If you didn’t already know, Boyhood was filmed over 12 years, a little bit each year so the actors and actresses basically grew up before us. And that’s really cool. What I like about it (besides the fact that it has Ethan Hawke in it), is how real the whole movie is. It doesn’t really have a “plot” or an “ending”, but that’s what Life is, right?

When I finished watching it, I didn’t know what I just watched. It’s the kind of movies whereby you feel like you just saw nothing yet you felt something πŸ˜‰ well, you’ll just have to see for yourself! 168 minutes, all worthwhile. Ethan Hawke’s a really good actor.

Ok, gotta go change the world. Till then…

O’ Captain, My Captain

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old Time is still a-flying;
And this same flower that smiles today,
Tomorrow will be dying.

I think when you’re depressed, you honestly don’t care how many people will be hurt when you’re gone, or how many million people were inspired by you. When you’re depressed, nothing else really matter because you’re too sad to even care. You can’t change the sadness you feel, but you can stop it. And maybe that’s what you decided to do, Mr Williams. When I learnt of your death, I was sad. Not because you left us on your own will, but because you must have been suffering so much last night to finally make the decision to take your own life. Depression hurts. Everyone wants to believe that dead people are in a better place, I supposed they are…if dead is what you consider a better place. Of course, being dead seems like the best idea sometimes.

Anyway Mr Williams, your legacy will continue to live on just like all the other great human beings who are gone too soon. To me, you’d always be the wonderful Mr. Keating in my all-time favorite movie. I think it’s time for the society to realise that depression isn’t something you can just snap out of, or sleep it off. Or “talk to someone” and start feeling okay. Nevertheless, rest in peace and may this peace that you seek finally be with you. πŸ™‚

I had a great time at SOSD today! For some reason, Beancurd walked really well in the morning (very unusual) and for once, she’s like a real lady. She’s such a playful one πŸ™‚ Every blade of grass, every leaf, every sidewalk, every bird catches her attention. She darts around, taking in everything around her. She’s in her own world. It’s very difficult to walk her sometimes, and I admit I get frustrated at times when we are lagging behind because Beancurd “cannot walk straight”.

20140812-181447-65687328.jpg

But it’s beautiful how she walks the same paths for almost a year already, and she still finds everything so interesting each day. Another thing to learn from dogs.

I walked a second dog named Button, and he’s a real charmer. I’m a sucker for the cute “puppy eyes”, and Button made me so happy today! He gazes up at you while walking, with a look that seems to say, “Human, am I doing this right? Is this how we walk?” And then you’re like, “Yes Button! Good boy!” “Okay! *wolfish grin*”

And he HUGS! He clung to me like a koala and we stood like that for a while (with him on his hind legs). That was before he attacked me with licks and slobbery kisses because I took out dog treats. Tried to get him to stay for a picture but he kept following me.

Dogs are so adorable.

Thank you, Button. You have no idea that your innocent puppy love really cheered me up. How I had a really terrible night but waking up to walk these lovely dogs made everything so damn worth it. ❀

The air is toxic

I’m looking for an insect killer/hunter that offers his/her services 24/7 and will turn up maximum 5 mins after I call for help. I will pay you. Really.

Just a while ago, I was sitting at my table minding my own business, and suddenly out of the corner of my eyes, I saw something moved. I wasn’t even wearing my specs but from the way it moved, I went “oh shit, spider spider spider spiderrrrrrr” (not bad right? I’m an insect-movements-identification expert). The worst thing is that I am home alone.

After standing there for a few minutes, I realised that watching the spider until my mom got home isn’t gonna work. That eight-legged monster (sorry spider lovers. I understand how hurting it is to hear some coward call your fav animal a “monster”) (but whatever, monster lover :p ) started climbing up my ceiling despite me trying to patiently reason with him. Or her.

So I started evacuating all my belongings in my room, my soft toys, my pillows, my laptop and apologized to those who had to stay to fight the “Great Spider War” with me. Grabbed a can of insecticide and a roll of newspapers and continue to stand there. Tried to figure which weapon to use but started spraying like a psycho when the spider moved even faster.

Yes I, SH, attempted to kill a spider for the first time of my life. Would you like to make a guess how much insecticide I sprayed at the spider??!!!! The spider was the “fire”, the insecticide was the “extinguisher”. I kept spraying as it fell from its web (or maybe it was escaping with its web), I kept spraying and spraying and spraying…..

AND THEN I LOST THE BODY. I have no idea why people like to have wooden floors that help black spiders/insects to camouflage. So I tried to look for the corpse but to no avail, and suddenly I felt the urge to vomit and faint. I think I sprayed too much insecticide…

Called my mom to tell her to get home asap and she went “Small matter la! I need to go post office and then I need to….” “Mama I’m going to faint!” “Open the windows. I need to go post office!”

So sad. Currently locking myself in my bro’s room. I swear I sprayed too much insecticide, my WHOLE HOUSE is filled with it. And my head is spinning like mad and I just vomited nothing important out. My throat is filled with the insecticide smell and I can TASTE IT. This is so disgusting. I finally understand the feeling of drinking insecticide. And Spidey’s body is still missing but if that monster survived this whole ordeal (while I’m here suffering from excessive spraying of insecticide) that Spider is immortal.

Having a massive headache now. Hahaha what an amusing day, but in a horrible way. I feel sick right now, and all I did was try to kill a spider…………

SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

/edited

Mom is home and nagging, “Why do you even need insecticide for a spider?!” Spider is dead, its body curled up in the saddest and most gruesome way, I’m still feeling nauseous and spitting out my saliva that tastes like insecticide.

Life.

Cheer up, nose!

I’m currently facing one of the biggest kiyodu mysteries ever.

So for the past few days, I kept getting a whiff of this STRANGEST smell in my room. It smells like decomposing rats, but not quite, mixed in with a tinge of fishy-ness. It smells so bad and so strange and I don’t know what it is. And it comes in WHIFFS! You can walk into my room and it hits you like a wave, then disappears just as fast. And it comes at the weirdest timings too.

I’m really clueless to the cause. I’ve even smelt every single thing in my room (I even smelt myself pffft), but to no avail. Honestly have no idea what is it πŸ˜₯ I can only hope it isn’t a decomposing animal somewhere in my room, or rotting food… Sigh. You probably think that my room is messy but you are wrong. The smell came after I packed my room SO KIDS, DO NOT CLEAN YOUR ROOM! Nothing good can come out of cleaning your room. You forget where you kept your things because you’re too tidy now, and you get a strange decomposing smell in your clean room.

I guess I’ll have to hire my private detective, Conan, to help me investigate this matter. Until then…

*sudden thought* What if it was some nose tumor inside me? Oh my god.

August, all over again…

August is here, whether I like it or not. Did you know that August is also known as the “Happiness Happens” month and the “What Will Be Your Legacy” month? Hmm;) It’s also named after Augustus (The Roman Emperor, not Mr. Waters) hehe.

Happy August!

Is it just me or is 2014 flying by like crazy? I’m not sure if that’s a good thing because I’m not quite ready to grow up yet. Can you believe I’ll be 20 next year?! It’s so scary to be growing up so quickly because I still like to build sandcastles at the beach and balloons and talking to my soft toys and Maple Story and…and…

Can you believe that Singapore is 49 already?! Almost a senior citizen! It feels like yesterday that I was walking past HDB flats and there’s the big “Happy 35th birthday, Singapore!” hanging across.

Anyway since time is passing by so fast, I shall take this chance to wish my future self a very, very happy 96th birthday! Wow, look at those wrinkles on your face! I hope you live to 100 but if you can’t, it’s alright. Actually, if you didn’t manage to reach 96, it’s okay too. I just hope you died happy. I hope you did not die by choking on a fishball because that’s silly… πŸ™‚ I wonder if you still talk to your soft toys? I mean, not that there’s anything wrong with a 96 year old talking to her soft toys, obviously πŸ˜‰ Are any B2ST members still alive? I doubt so right? πŸ˜₯ OK BYE 96 year old self. See you in the future.

And I shall end this meaningless post of mine with him:

20140807-001927-1167247.jpg

*heart melts* Kudos to you if you know who this fine specimen is, teehee! πŸ˜‰

P.S if you do, please be aware I’m crushing on the 19 year old him, not the current father-of-four him MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

P.P.S Aug 6 also marks the 69th anniversary of the tragic atomic bombings in Hiroshima. History can neither be erased nor forgotten, and war will always be tragic. The power hunger that cannot be satisfied…the world peace that will never happen, sadly.